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Unfortunately, we live in a modern world where people think that Snapchat is an acceptable form of communication- more like the only form of communication. If you want to be the person posting “looking forward to retirement” Snapchat stories when you’re 60 years old, be my guest, but I’ll be over here in the real world communicating with people’s entire face, not just their forehead. News flash, my eyes are down here.

Recently, I’ve been much more aware of the repercussions of giving into a social media addicted world. Relationships have become #goals. Hobbies have gone online. Distractions have increased. Dating has reached an all-time flatline. I never had a problem with this. Then, I was exposed to the confusion and vagueness of dating in a Snapchat dominated, informal, casual world.

Luckily, I’ve been reading Single, Dating, Engaged, Married by Ben Stuart. It’s a real eyeopener, let me tell you. I knew that I was annoyed, confused, and under-impressed by the new and not-so-improved process of dating, but I didn’t really know why until I started reading this book. It seems so obvious now.

Anything you say through a screen can be misinterpreted or misunderstood altogether. That is why a relationship should not begin on, my personal favorite, Snapchat.

He posted on his story, but he hasn’t responded to me. Does that mean he doesn’t like me?

He asked me to “hang out,” what does that mean?

I wonder how many other people he’s Snapchatting.

Here’s an idea. Get off Snapchat and none of it will matter. If someone has interest in you and a real intention of doing something about it, they should have the nerve to tell you so. Call me. Text me. Ask me on a date. Don’t Snapchat me and act like that’s a cute story to tell the grandkids.

And a side note. If you have that many questions about the guy, he’s just not the one. Concern yourself with yourself, not with someone that can’t find 30 whole seconds to respond to you.

The introduction of social media and online dating has significantly decreased the level of stability within a relationship.

Why does he follow that girl?

Why is she commenting on his picture?

They posted two pictures together, are they dating?

I’m going to post a Snapchat story to see if he’s on his phone…

None of this is normal and none of this is healthy! When you’re in a relationship, there should be the highest level of commitment. No one should fear that their partner is waiting for the next best thing to come around the corner. If he can’t even decide if he likes you or not, chances are, he’s not stable enough to be in a relationship anyway. Move on and let someone else deal with him.

Date with purpose or don’t date at all.

The purpose of dating is to find your spouse. The purpose of dating is not to have someone to take to your sorority’s formal. Date with purpose. Don’t waste someone’s time if you know you’re not in it for the long haul. Time is too precious to be thrown away.

If you’re not dating with purpose, be single with purpose.

Take yourself out. Do what you want. You don’t have to ask anyone! When I stopped pouting about being single and chose to rebuild what I base my worth on, I realized a whole lot more about life than I ever did in a relationship. Ben Stuart said it best, “You have to meet your Maker before you can meet your mate.” If you believe that the Lord made everything, then you better believe that He made singleness too, and He had a good reason for it. Grow closer to Him. Grow your love for Him. Grow your adoration for Him. Grow because He is the sun.

I don’t think that you’ll be single forever if you use Snapchat to talk to people, but I do think that you’ll save yourself a lot of heartache, confusion, and wasted time if you step back and think a little more like your parents did when they were dating. #bringbackcourting2019

There’s a simple fact I learned from Ben Stuart that should be plastered everywhere. Guys are scared to ask a girl on a date using the word date because he doesn’t want to seem too formal, but women would rather be asked on an actual date because “hanging out” causes too much confusion.

I have proudly not been a Snapchat user in a pretty long time now, and I can easily say I don’t miss it one bit.

Let’s all man-up and go make the world a little less confusing.